This picture was taken during one of my numerous trips to Washington to save the President. Now which trip was this? The time the aliens from Independence Day came to blow up the White House? Or the time the aliens from Mars Attacks came to blow up the White House? (Isn't it amazing how many aliens try to blow up the White House?)

No, wait now I remember, it was September 1994 when the Libyan terrorist came in the Cessna to blow up the White House. Since we managed to stop him in time the Secret Service was able to downplay the whole incident and say it was just a mentally unstable individual committing suicide. The truth would have caused serious panic as the plane was carrying the one functioning nuclear bomb that Libya had managed to obtain during the breakup of the old Soviet Union. [Special Note to Pierre Salinger: While your information on the friendly fire downing of the 747 was completely wrong, this incident is completely, 100% true. So hurry up and proclaim it to the entire world.] The warhead was one of the MIRV re-entry units from a SS-20 missile. The yield of this warhead is approximately 610 kilotons or about 32 times the power of the bombs used in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The optimal usage is to set it off at an altitude of 3500 feet for maximum destructive power. At that altitude the area of total destruction would be 10 miles in diameter (all of greater Washington D.C.). If the terrorist had set off the bomb as soon as he was in the general area, all of Washington would be toast (Or to paraphrase Jack Nicholson "Zero out of three branches of the Federal Goverment ain't bad.")

Fortunately for us the terrorists had seen too many old movies and thought in terms of conventional weapons trying to get all the way to the White House. This gave us time to respond with the recently installed White House point-defense systems. Publicly the Secret Service talks about stationing men on the roof with shoulder-mount anti-aircraft weapons. But in truth Reagan's 'Star Wars' program was much more successful than is public knowledge.

The real defensive system currently has two primary components. The first, which was used to down the Cessna, is an electromagnetic railgun that fires through the flagpole in the picture above. The projectiles are one-half inch diameter water spheres with a .00017" thick steel casing. The steel casing allows the projectiles to be accelerated magnetically and the spherical shape allows them to be spun. Therefore using coreolis effects upon exiting the flagpole the projectiles can turn upto 177 degrees allowing them to cover the entire area around the White House. Combining the thin metal covering and the high exit velocities (96,000 mph) results in a range limit of 350 feet after which the covering melts leaving just water droplets. This limits potential damage to civilians and adjacent structures. Within the 350 foot range the projectiles transfer sufficient energy to penetrant upto 9 inch steel plate.

The second component of the White House defensive system is meant for intercepting incoming nuclear missiles. It consists of approximately [classified] x-ray lasers located around the perimeter of the White House grounds. These lasers are powered by denotating a small nuclear device located 700 feet below ground. In case targets approach in multiple waves, a total of [classified] nuclear devices have been installed. When the nuclear power sources are activated the equivalent of a 4.6 earthquake will be felt in the mall area. So if you feel a small earthquake when you are in D.C., be afraid, be very afraid !!!

Since I helped design and install the system, I try to be present at all operation uses. Fortunately, only the short range system has been used to date and it only three times. (However if the aliens really do try to blow-up the White House, we will be ready.)